If you joined us last week you are aware that we began a new series entitled, “RELATIONSHIP GOALS”  For some of us that was a new concept.  Today we will take a look at “FAMILY GOALS”

The word “family” alone could evoke a wide variety of responses in all of us.

From Thankfulness to Anx.   Delight to grief.   

The mere mention may bring tears of joy. Or tears of hurt.

I have a disclaimer – Pastor Kevin did not invite me to bring this message because the Kohl family has it all figured out, I don’t have it mastered as a mom, wife, sister or daughter.  Often when I get the opportunity to share, the message is to deepen me.

And I am pretty sure, the reason I was given this topic is because we are uniquely in the throws of parenting.  PICTURE of my family.

Here is a PICTURE of my family. My college sweetheart and husband of 27 years, Our oldest daughter Gwenna – she is a freshman at Liberty. Eli is a sophomore at East Rock. And Ivy is 4 and in Preschool. 

I would not want you to get distracted trying to figure out just how old I was when our youngest was born – I was 44. And for those of you who love statistics, there is only a 2-3% chance of two 44 years olds to have a child naturally – even less when being prevented. NOW THAT THAT’S CLEARED UP.  I will say I call that our “ONLY GOD” story.

 And though we would have never imagined that surprise in our family – we have seen the goodness of God. I remind you that the same powerful God is at work in your life and in your families – not to bring you all babies in your old age but to meet the needs you may not even know you have.

Last week Pastor Kevin shared that just as the world was created, we see how the Lord Places us, Provides for us, gives us purpose, gives parameters, and is the place we find our IDENTITY. 

                Our goal should be abandoning any image of myself that God doesn’t say about me.

This is KEY to any healthy, vibrant relationship!

INSERT STORY??

What is a family?

Family – a group of people who are related to each other, including parents, children, and close relatives. – Oxford dictionary

Another source defines it as

family, a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, constituting a single household and interacting with each other in their respective social positions, usually those of spouses, parents, children, and siblings.

Marriage and family are Gods institutions.  God created the family when he made the first man and woman – telling them to be fruitful and multiply in Genesis 1:28

God wastes no time developing marriage and family. Marriage is a foundational unit of society.

Shortly after , we see sin enter the scene. Self-sufficiency enters and so does family disfunction.

The effects of sin, destroy families and society – wreak havoc, create unimaginable suffering, leading many to a Christless society and life.

In Genesis 4, we meet Cain and Abel, Adam and Eve’s first and second born son.

In Genesis 4:3-5, God favors Abels offering over Cains

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?  If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Genesis 4:6-7

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”[a] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Genesis 4:8

Then Cain ran away to avoid punishment – creating yet more challenge and hurt.

This is not to discourage, but to remind us that as soon as sin entered so did the battle against and with family.

Though today’s challenges likely look different than God giving favor to one offering over another – Jealousy is a hurt that still reigns as destructive. The family is in battle.

Life, Hope, Truth.com research reveals that the some of the greatest or top THREATS that come against our families today are:

Materialism – keeping our families focused on acquiring more and more – and our children believing that material possessions are where happiness is.

                Secularism – 25% of Americans claim no religious affiliation

                                                Compared to 6% in 1991

                Negative Media Influence – not only bringing constant unwholesome influence, but                                                                                    keeping families from interacting.

But we all know, the ultimate enemy is not a physical enemy but a spiritual one – satan himself.

1 Peter 5:8-9 tells us

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Why is this?

This quote by John Pale sums it up for me:

“God designed the family to fill the earth with His glory” -John Pale

Let’s visit our brother Joseph to see how this played out in his family.  His story takes up 14 chapters in Genesis – so though I would love to read it all to you this morning – I better just give you a quick summary…

Joseph – Genesis 37-50

Summary of the life of joseph

• Favored son:

Jacob openly favored Joseph, giving him a special coat, which further fueled his brother’s resentment. 

• Prophetic dreams:

Joseph had dreams where his family bowed down to him, which he interpreted as a sign of future power, further angering his brothers. 

• Sold into slavery:

Due to jealousy, Joseph’s brothers sold him to traders who took him to Egypt where he was sold to Potiphar, an Egyptian official. 

• False accusation and imprisonment:

When Joseph resisted the advances of Potiphar’s wife, she falsely accused him of rape, leading to his imprisonment. 

• Interpreting dreams:

While in prison, Joseph gained a reputation for accurately interpreting dreams, including those of the Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker. 

• Ruling Egypt:

Pharaoh, troubled by a dream, summoned Joseph to interpret it, which revealed a coming famine. Impressed by Joseph’s wisdom, Pharaoh appointed him as second in command, allowing him to prepare Egypt for the famine by storing grain. 

• Reunion with family:

During the famine, Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt to buy food, and he revealed himself to them, ultimately forgiving them and reuniting with his family. 

• Throughout Genesis 37-50, Joseph’s story showcases his reliance on God: despite being sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused, and imprisoned. 
• His forgiveness of his brothers in Genesis 45: is a powerful example of how he trusted God’s plan even when faced with betrayal. 

The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master.  His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands. Genesis 39:2-3

In the Bible, Joseph turned to God in family trouble by trusting in God’s sovereignty and forgiving his brothers¹. Sold into slavery by his brothers, Joseph eventually rose to become the second most powerful man in Egypt and provided food for Egypt and his own family during a severe famine²

When you are asked to speak on family, you naturally reflect on your own.

My parents divorced when I was 2 – when I was around 3 or 4 my stepmom entered the family. When I was 13, my only child life ended as my beautiful fabulous sister entered the world, though I did not always think that when she was 2 and I was 15!

Early on labeled my family as my “happy dysfunction”. If you know me well, you know, I like things to be pretty and tied up with a bow.

But the truth of the matter the division of my family and all of its circumstances were not always happy.  My pretty bow was often removed or pushed to the side.

Here in the midst of these family circumstances is where I discovered that I needed Jesus.

I was desperate for him – his care, his comfort, his truth, his constant presence, his strength, his love, his grace, HIS ALL.

I am thankful for my story because it brought me to Jesus.

Do you let the story of your family take you to Jesus?

Whether it is the story of your youth, memories, or the moments you are living right now.

Whether you are from a family of Godly heritage – do you let your story lead and keep you in Jesus?

Whether you had a story you would have preferred to be different, do you let your story lead you to Jesus?

Regardless of our past stories and the ones we are currently living – there is a family goal that we can all choose.

Family Goal #1

Regardless of my family story and circumstances, I will let it take me to Jesus.

What does this look like Angela?

Story of laying on the floor praying when I had toddlers?

There is one other goal – I’m going to ask that we commit to together

Family Goal #2 

Regardless of where my family is now, the future will be for God’s glory.

                JOSEPHS STORY TELLS US ABOUT OUR FAMILY DIRECTION CHANGING WITH JESUS

I know that my family’s tomorrow can be different because of Jesus and it starts with me.

This is not about you taking more control of your family, but surrendering it to God. This doesn’t mean by choosing Jesus that everything will be easy, but I promise your trajectory will be better – because you will be different in Him.

Your part is surrender

Your part is trust

Your part is

Your part is to be unrelenting light.

We need to hear this – ALL GOALS REQUIRE GODS HELP!

Psalm 121 tells us – My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth.

The same helper that came along side of me as a child, has and continues to be the one who helps me as the mama of my 3 babies. Helps me as a, sister, daughter.

Mention Davids return?

Use COURAGEOUS VIDEO –   SUMMARIZE!

So, I invite us to commit to these goals together as the FAMILY of God

 (these goals apply to this family as well…          )

Family Goal #1

Regardless of my family story and circumstances, I will let it take me to Jesus.

Family Goal #2 

Regardless of where my family is now, the future will be for God’s glory.

And now,  what are your personal goals for your family?

Pastor Kevin asked me this same question this week as we discussed this weeks message.

Here are the goals that were on my heart

SLIDE

Angela’s Family Goals:

1. I will be as hip and lively when Ivy is 18 as I am now when Gwenna is 18!
   1. Each of us would know and love Jesus deeply and personally.
   1. We will love one another well and reflect Christ, starting at home.
   1. My kids will always want to come home.
   1. Our family will be light and draw others to Jesus.

What about you this morning?  Will you bring your stories to Jesus?

Will you join me in seeking Family Goals for your family?

Grandmas, Grandpas, Mom, Dad, Single parent, step parent, Teen, Sister, Brother, son, daughter – what are your goals this morning.

We have cards all around the room on the alters, on the tables,

Come seek the Lord with me for your family as we “run to the Father”

https://www.bible.com/events/49388327

Church of the Nazarene – East Rockingham Campus

Relationship Goals Part 2

We will be purpose driven

Over the next few weeks, we will work through several relationship goals that we can see in the scriptures.

By naming this series Relationship Goals, we are acknowledging from the very beginning that our relationships have room to grow. They may need work, maybe even a lot of it. We also recognize that WE need work. that ME in relationship, needs work.

The purpose of this series is not to make you feel guilty about yourself or the quality of your relationships. Our desire is to offer hope, to set some goals and find practical tools that will help us work on our relationships.

As the old saying goes “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” So why not set some goals to get us where the bible is calling in our relationships?

Today we continue with relationship goal #2 “We will be purpose driven”

As followers of Christ, we believe that we are called together for a purpose. We are called to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, to do things that we could otherwise not do alone. Our relationships should have purpose.

As we dive into our goal of purpose driven relationship, I think it’s important that we first establish what our individual calling and purpose as followers of Jesus. As we establish that, we can begin to re-imagine our relationships in light of that core calling and purpose.

To help us see these things come together, I want to look at the story of Peter and John. Two very different people who had a shared calling and a shared purpose in Christ.

Luke 5:1-11

One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

This moment marked a new day in the lives of these men.

Peter recognizes his sinful heart and his need for a savior. He is ready to leave his old life of sin, to find forgiveness in Jesus. Affirming that desire in Peter, Jesus replies with a new calling for Peter “follow me.”

The invitation to follow Jesus was that they would literally go be with Jesus. Stay where he stayed, go where he went. To learn from him, and most importantly to become like him.

“From now on, you will fish for people.”

The focus of Peter’s life was changing. His number one goal was to leverage his life for the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

The calling and purpose we see in Peter, is representative of the call for each and every one of us today. As we seek Jesus as our Lord and savior, we too share in this same calling.

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

As this is true of our lives, it’s certainly true of our relationships too.

When we enter into relationship, we don’t leave behind our calling and purpose in Christ, we bring it into our relationships.

That’s the essence of purpose driven relationships.

As you trace the story of Peter and John through the gospels, you can see it was a work in progress. For them personally, and for their relationships. It took years…

But by the grace of God they remained committed to their calling, and to their purpose in the world. As this shaped their lives, it shaped their relationships too. The impact of this commitment over the long haul comes to light in the book of Acts.

In Chapter 4, Peter and John are on trial before the supreme court of the religious elite because they healed a man who had been paralyzed or lame for 40 years.

Of course, this creates quite a stir and they end up being arrested. As we get further into chapter 4 they are standing trial before the religious elite of the day. And after giving their defense of their actions, verse 13 tells us something of a purpose driven relationship.

Acts 4:13

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

This friends, is purpose driven relationship.

The officials look at these two men, they know that they haven’t had any training or schooling, they are just ordinary men.

But yet, as they looked at Peter and John, they looked beyond the men standing before them, beyond their words, beyond their actions and they see something familiar. They see Jesus. And the bible says the religious leaders were astonished.

This ruling council didn’t know Peter and John, but they could tell they had been with Jesus. Friends, that’s purpose driven relationship.

That people would see beyond our relationship, beyond our actions and words, to see Jesus.

There is no limit to what God can do through your life and through your relationships when you commit to your calling, and live into your purpose.

That’s the invitation of this Relationship Goal- We will be purpose driven.

Let’s see what God can do.

 RELATIONSHIP GOALS SERIES

· NEW HERE- WE HAVE SEVERAL CAMPUSES

· LAST WEEK LAUNCHED HISPANIC CAMPUS-56

· ESPERANZA VIVA CELEBRATED 20 YEARS

· 1 ASK- STILL NEED VOLUNTEERS HUNT 2 HARVEST

· TODAY BEGIN A NEW SERIES RELATIONSHP GOALS

DEFINE GOAL:

· AN AIM OR PURPOSE

· INTENTION- TARGET

DUDE PERFECT TRICK SHOTS

· THESE GUYS HAVE MADE MILLIONS-HOW?

· THEY GET A TARGET-THEY AIM-THEY SHOOT

· THE TARGETS THEY SHOOT AT-UNUSUAL

WE HAVE EVERY OTHER KIND OF GOAL

· WEIGHT LOSS GOAL EDUCATIONAL DEGREE GOAL

· JOB PROMOTION GOAL

· GET OUT OF DEBT GOAL

· SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE GOAL

DO WE ACTUALLY HAVE RELATIONSHIP GOALS?

HOW IMPORTANT ARE RELATIONSHIPS ANYWAY?

PURPOSE:

· WE WOULD HAVE A GREATER UNDERSTANDING OF TOOLS TO MAINTAIN GOD HONORING RELATIONSHIPS

GENESIS 2:18. GOOD GOOD GOOD

18. “THEN THE LORD GOD SAID, IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE MAN TO BE ALONE. I WILL MAKE A HELPER WHO IS JUST RIGHT FOR HIM.

# 1 TACTIC FOR PUNISHING-ISOLATION-NOT SOLITUDE

VIDEO ON BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS

· BUSINESS PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ITS IMPORTANCE

· DO WE?

· I DON’T THINK HES SUGGESTING APPROACH THIS SELFISHLY

· IDENTIFYING GENUINE RELATIONSHIP BUILDIUNG

· WE DO RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE WE BELIEVE WE ARE CALLED TOGETHER FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN US IN GODS KINGDOM

GENESIS 2:7-8

7. “THEN THE LORD GOD FORMED A MAN FROM THE DUST OF THE GROUND. HE BREATHED THE BREATH OF LIFE OF LIFE INTO THE MAN’S NOSTRILS, AND THE MAN BECAME A LIVING PERSON. THEN THE LORD GOD PLANTED A GARDEN IN EDEN IN THE EAST, AND THERE HE PLACED THE MAN HE HAD MADE.

PLACED

· WHAT PLACE ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

· WHERE HAS HE PLACED YOU? STILL LOOKING?

 GENESIS 2:9

9. “THE LORD GOD MADE ALL SORTS OF TREES GROW UP FROM THE GROUND-TREES THAT WERE BEAUTIFUL AND THAT PRODUCED DELICIOUS FRUIT. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GARDEN HE PLACED THE TREE OF LIFE AND THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL.”

PROVIDES

· THE LORD PLACES THE MAN

· THEN HE HAS PROVISION FOR THE MAN

· HE PLACES AND PROVIDES

· MANY OF YOU HAVE SERVED THE LORD

· HAS HE NOT ALWAYS PROVIDED?

· NO EVE YET

 GENESIS 2:15

15. “THE LORD GOD PLACED THE MAN IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN TO TEND AND WATCH OVER IT.”

PURPOSE

· WHERE YOU LOOKING TO FIND PURPOSE?

· PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE? AGE OLD QUESTION

 SCRIPTURE GENESIS 2:16

16. “BUT THE LORD GOD WARNED HIM, YOU MAY FREELY EAT THE FRUIT OF EVERY TREE IN THE GARDEN.”

GENESIS 2:17

17. EXCEPT THE TREE OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL. IF YOU EAT ITS FRUIT, YOU ARE SURE TO DIE.”

GARDEN IMAGE

· LONGWOOD GARDENS- DUPONT

· HE DOESN’T SAY- YOU HAVE 2 CHOICES

· HE PROVIDES INCREDIBLE OPTIONS

· HE SAYS ALL OF IT IS YOURS- EXCEPT 1 THING

· CHRISTIANITY HAS TOO MANY RESTRICTIONS

· HANDCUFFS ME- YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL

PARAMETERS

· THE LORD PROVIDES GUARDRAILS FOR ADAM

· HERE ARE THE BOUNDARY LINES FOR YOU

· HE DOES THE SAME FOR US INDIVIDUALLY

· WHAT DOG DOES WHEN LET HIM OUT THE DOOR

· RUNS TO THE EDGE-PERIMETER.

GENESIS 1:26

26. THEN GOD SAID, “LET US MAKE HUMAN BEINGS IN OUR IMAGE, TO BE LIKE US. THEY WILL REIGN OVER FISH IN THE SEA, THE BIRDS IN THE SKY, THE LIVESTOCK, ALL THE WILD ANIMALS ON THE EARTH, AND THE SMALL ANIMALS THAT SCURRY ALONG THE GROUND.”

 IDENTITY

· IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP- IT HINGES ON THIS

· DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THE RELATIONSHIP

· IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR IDENTITY- YOU WILL STRUGGLE

· HINGES ON HIM- WHO DOES HE WANT ME TO BE

 WORDS P/P/P/P IDENTITY

PLACE. PROVISION. PURPOSE. PARAMETERS. IDENTITY

MANY PEOPLE (MAYBE US) HAVE THE WRONG TARGET?

SO WHAT IS YOUR GOAL OR GOALS? WHAT ARE THEY?

HOW MANY ARE USING/ALLOWING CULTURE TO PROVIDE THE TARGET?

WHAT IS BAROMETER TO HELP SET PROPER GOALS?

RELATIONAL GOALS ARE KARDASHIAN ESTABLISHED

· THE OTHER ISSUE IS MANY OF US HAVE POOR AIM

· WE DON’T MAKE ANY ADJUSTMENT FOR WEATHER

· DISTANCE

 TARGET WITH CROSS IN THE CENTER

· HERE IS A TARGET

· DEATH TO LIFE- DIE TO YOURSELF- SEEK TO ELEVATE OTHERS

· JESUS “I CAME NOT TO BE SERVED BUT TO SERVE”

· EVERYONE NEEDS EXAMPLES/RELATIONSHIPS

 PYRAMID

· THINK OF IT LIKE A PYRAMID-

· TOP IS OF COURSE GOD- MOST IMPORTANT

· PAUL- A MENTOR (HE MENTORED TIMOTHY)

· BARNABAS-COMRADE/PEER JOIN YOU

· TIMOTHY-YOU HELP/POUR IN TO

· SAMARITAN- OPEN YOUR HANDS TO LIFT UP

· FOR ONE-DO HAVE 1 THAT DOESN’T KNOW JESUS?

 RELATIONSHIP GOALS

1. FIND MY IDENTITY IN CHRIST

2. FIND 12 MEN THIS CALENDAR YEAR TO JOURNEY WITH ME IN PRAYER, FELLOWSHIP AND DISCIPLESHIP

3. HAVE OUR KIDS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US, EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T HAVE TO.

4. COMMUMINCATE BETTER

5. GET COMPLETELY OUT OF DEBT

JOHN THE BAPTIST

· JOHN STATES HIS RELATIONSHIP GOALS

· HE MUST INCREASE

· I MUST DECREASE

EVEN THE MISSION IS A RELATIONSHIP. ITS NOT A TASK, THE MISSION IS A RELATIONSHIP. GOD IS SEEKING TO BRING YOU INTO A RELATIONSHIP, AND ONCE WE’RE THERE, TO BRING OTHERS TO RELATIONSHIP.

SALVATION IS A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD/JESUS. FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, THE MISSION THAT GOD SENT JESUS ON WAS TO BUILD A TEAM. GOD SENT JESUS TO BUILD A TEAM, AND HE CALLED THESE MEN TO BE WITH HIM, FOLLOW HIM, BUILD THEIR LIVES ON HIM AND THAT RELATIONSHIP.

JESUS RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

· COME FOLLOW ME AND I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN

THIS IS HOW THEY WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY DISCIPLE THAT YOU “LOVE ONE ANOTHER”

HES BEEN SEEKING TO RESTORE THAT BROKNESS EVER SINCE

IM NO LONGER A SLAVE TO FEAR

I AM A CHILD OF GOD

FROM MY MOTHERS WOMB

YOU HAVE CHOSEN ME

LOVE HAS CALLED MY NAME

IVE BEEN BORN AGAIN INTO A FAMILY

YOUR BLOOD FLOWS THROUGH MY VEINS

I AM WHO YOU SAY I AM

I AM CHOSEN NOT FORSAKEN

I AM WHO YOU SAY I AM

YOU ARE FOR ME NOT AGAINST ME

I AM WHO YOU SAY I AM

WHO THE SUN SETS FREE

IS FREE INDEED

IM A CHILD OF GOD YES I AM

ADOPTION SONG LYRICS

I renounce the lie That I don’t measure up I renounce the lie

I’m unworthy of Your love And when shame comes knocking And fear starts talking I will lift my hands In Your presence, You remind me who I am

I am adopted I am beloved

It’s my inheritance I’m a child of god So when the liar Starts mouthing off I’ll sing in confidence My adoption song

26 Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” 27 And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, 28 for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29 I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom. 30 And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives

https://www.bible.com/events/49384868

Church of the Nazarene – East Rockingham Campus

Relationship Goals Part 1

Our Identity is in Christ

Over the next few weeks, we will work through several relationship goals that we can see in the scriptures.

By naming this series Relationship Goals, we are acknowledging from the very beginning that our relationships have room to grow. They may need work, maybe even a lot of it. We also recognize that WE need work. that ME in relationship, needs work.

The purpose of this series is not to make you feel guilty about yourself or the quality of your relationships. Our desire is to offer hope, to set some goals and find practical tools that will help us work on our relationships.

As the old saying goes “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” So why not set some goals to get us where the bible is calling in our relationships?

Today we begin with relationship goal #1 “Our identity is in Christ”

In relationships we must begin by grounding our own identity in Christ before pursing relationship with others.

To know who we are as a child of God created in his image for a purpose, frees us to engage in relationships freely and with confidence because we know that no individual can ever be my “number 1” in any relationship because that place is always reserved for Jesus.

To get a clearer picture of our identity and god’s design, I want us to go back to the beginning, let’s turn to Genesis chapter 2

In genesis 1-2 we have the account of how the Lord created everything Sun, moon, and stars, land and sea and everything in it. There is no sin present, everything is as God designed and intended it to be, including the first man, Adam.

Let’s read about his beginnings

Genesis 2:7-8

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.

“God formed a man from the dust of the ground”

Who are you? You are god’s masterpiece, skillfully and purposefully created. You are not an accident. You are created with intrinsic value and worth. Formed, shaped, knit together by the hand of the Lord.

“Breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”

This idea is of the breath that you would blow onto an ember to bring it flame. God took the elements of the earth and breathed life into them.

Genesis 2:15-17

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

The Lord had a specific plan, a specific place for Adam. He gave him a calling, a vocation, a purpose to give his life work to.

Like Adam we are created for a purpose, to glorify God as he has a plan for us. The Lord also gave parameters, instructions on how to live out his calling and how to live in relationship with God.

Adam first found his identity in relationship with the Lord. It was there that Adam had fulfilled the deep core created longings of his heart. And now he was ready for relationship.

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Having our identity, purpose, and belonging secure in the Lord, doesn’t mean we don’t need relationships. I believe it means we are ready for relationships.

Adam had all this sorted out and settled in the Lord, but God still looks at him and sees “it’s not good for man to be alone”. And what we see in this passage, in this “not good” idea, is that we were made for relationships. It’s part of who we are and how we are made.

We are made to be in community and relationship with others. It’s good. But don’t miss the order in which the Lord brought these things together.

Adam first had his identity in the Lord, THEN relationship with Eve.

If we enter into relationship with our identity being incomplete, inevitably we will seek to complete ourselves, our identity, our purpose, our value, in another person. And friends that is not going to go well. We cannot expect any other person to complete something that God designed for himself.

That means that nobody can be our number 1. Not our parents, not our kids, not our spouse, or even our best friend. That place must be reserved for Christ alone.

And friends, that’s why our first relationship Goal is “Our identity is in Christ First.”

‭‭LAST WEEK OF SERIES HEALTHY ME

STARTED 3 WEEKS AGO

COVERED LONELINESS- DEPRESSION-ANXIETY

 LONELINESS

1. RECOGNIZE/REALIZE GODS PROMISE TO NEVER FORSAKE US.
2. EMBRACE GODS DESIGN FOR COMMUNITY.
3. ASK YOURSELF “WILL ANYONE BENEFIT FROM MY LONELINESS?

 DEPRESSION/ANXIETY

1. EMBRACE COMMUNITY
2. CAST YOUR ANXIETY ON HIM (I PETER 5:7)
3. LISTEN FOR HIS WHISPER. HE WISHPERS BECAUSE HE IS CLOSE.
4. MEET WITH A TRAINEDE CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR.
5. POSSIBLY MEET WITH MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.

THIS WEEK: ANGER- SOME THINGS REALL

SLIDE 5: COMMANDERS/REDSKINS HELMET/LOGO

• I MEAN I KNOW THIS IS TROUBLE
• SOME OF US ARE EXCITED TODAY
• SOME OF US- THIS MAKES US ANGRY TODAY

SLIDE 6: PICTURE OF TOILET PAPER ROLL

• WHEN THIS HAPPENS- DOESN’T IT TICK YOU OFF?
• WHEN IT HAPPENS IN A PUBLIC PLACE- AWFUL
• HAPPENS IN YOUR HOUSE- ROLLS RIGHT THERE

SLIDE 5: LONELINESS

• RECOGNIZE/REALIZE GODS PROMISE TO NEVER FORSAKE US.
• EMBRACE GODS DESIGN FOR COMMUNITY.
• ASK YOURSELF “WILL ANYONE BENEFIT FROM MY LONELINESS?

DEPRESSION/ANXIETY

1. EMBRACE COMMUNITY
2. CAST YOUR ANXIETY ON HIM (I PETER 5:7)
3. LISTEN FOR HIS WHISPER. BECAUSE HE IS CLOSE.
4. MEET WITH A TRAINEDE CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR.
5. POSSIBLY MEET WITH MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.

ANGER:

• WOMEN LOSE TEMPER 3 XS WEEK/MEN 6 TIMES
• WOMAN ARE MORE VERBAL WITH ANGER
• MEN ARE MORE PHYSICAL
• WOMEN EXPRESS ANGER AT PEOPLE/ MEN AT THINGS
• SINGLE ADULTS EXPRESS ANGER TWICE AS OFTEN AS MARRIED
• PLACE YOU EXPRESS ANGER MOST OFTEN AT HOME
• 51 ILLNESSES ARE DIRECTLY ATTRIBUTED TO ANGER

  “SPEAK WHEN YOU ARE ANRGY AND YOU WILL MAKE THE BEST SPEECHES YOU WILL EVER REGRET”

  AMBROSE BIERCE

INTRODUCED TO ANGER  

GENESIS 4:2-7

  ² Next she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. ³ In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, ⁴ and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, ⁵ but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. ⁶ The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? ⁷ If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

EPHESIANS 4:22

   “YOU WERE TAUGHT, WITH REGARD TO YOUR FORMER WAY OF LIFE, TO PUT OFF YOUR OLD SELF, WHICH IS BEING CORRUPTED BY ITS DECEITFUL DESIRES; TO BE MADE NEW IN THE ATTITUDE OF YOUR MINDS; AND TO PUT ON THE NEW SELF, CREATED LIKE GOD IN TRUE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND HOLINESS.

EPHESIANS 4:25-26

   THEREFORE EACH OF YOU MUST PUT OFF FALSEHOOD AND SPEAK TRUTHFULLY TO YOUR NEIGHBOR, FOR WE ARE ALL MEMBERS OF ONE BODY. “IN YOUR ANGER DO NOT SIN. DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN WHILE YOU ARE STILL ANGRY.

• HE HAD JUST TALKED ABOUT UNITY
• HE HAD JUST TALKED ABOUT SENSUALITY/GREED

SUNSET

• EVERY SUNSET- BEAUTY IN IT
• THINK- AM I ANGRY WITH SOMEONE?

 EPHESIANS 4:27-28

  27. AND DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD. ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN STEALING MUST STEAL NO LONGER, BUT MUST WORK, DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH THEIR OWN HANDS, THAT THEY MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE WITH THOSE IN NEED.

 CHECK ENGINE LIGHT

• THE LIGHT COMES ON TO INDICATE PROBLEM UNDER HOOD- ENGINE NEEDS CHECK UP.

WARNING IMAGE

  READ AND FULLY UNDERSTAND OPERATORS MANUAL BEFORE USING THIS EMOTION.

FAILURE TO FOLLOW OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS COULD RESULT IN DEATH OR SERIOUS INJURY.

• I WONDER HOW MANY OF US STRUGGLE WITH ANGER? WE MIGHT STRUGGLE BECAUSE WE FEEL GUILTY THAT WE HAVE IT- YOU SHOULDN’T
• GOD GIVEN EMOTION
• CANNOT LET IT RULE YOU- LIVE IN IT
• YOU SHOULD HEAD WARNINGS GIVEN ABOUT IT

WORD INDULGE MEANS:

 TO GIVE FREE REIGN- TO GRATIFY (CANT WITH ANGER)

JOHN 2:13

  13. “THE PASSOVER OF THE JEWS WAS NEAR, AND JESUS WENT UP TO JERUSALEM. IN THE TEMPLE HE FOUND PEOPLE SELLING CATTLE, SHEEP, AND DOVES AND THE MONEY CHANGERS SEATED AT THEIR TABLES.

 JOHN 2:15

  15. MAKING A WHIP OF CORDS, HE DROVE THEM ALL OUT OF THE TEMPLE, WITH THE SHEEP AND THE CATTLE. HE ALSO POURED OUT THE COINS OF THE MONEY CHANGERS AND OVERTURNED THEIR TABLES.

JOHN 2:16

  16. HE TOLD THOSE WHO WERE SELLING DOVES, “TAKE THESE THINGS OUT OF HERE! STOP MAKING MY FATHERS HOUSE A MARKETPLACE!”

“IT IS WRITTEN, MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER” BUT YOU ARE MAKING IT A DEN OF ROBBERS. ( HOUSE OR WORSHIP/PREACHING)

• I READ THIS IS BECAUSE JESUS GETS ANGRY
• BUT ITS NOT BECAUSE OF WHATS DONE TO HIM
• HES ANGRY BECAUSE OTHERS ARE MISTREATED

 PICTURE OF TWO MEN

• ADOLF AND RUDOLF DASSLER (2 YEARS APART)
• 1948 RUDOLF ESTABLISHES PUMA
• 1949 ADOLF ESTABLISHES ADDIDAS

   In 1948, after over 30 years of working together, Adolf and Rudolf abruptly shuttered Geda and separated

GET BURRIED AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF CEMETARY

ANGER IS A PROBLEM

• INCONVENIENCES TRIGGER STRONG ANGER RESPONSE
• ANGER HAS PATTERNS- ANGER UNCONTROLLABLE
• CAN’T NAME WHAT IS CAUSING IT
• BLOWING OFF ANGER ONLY A TEMPORARY RELIEF
• OTHER PEOPLE SAY YOU ARE ANGRY

 ANGER

1. CONSIDER THE CAUSE
2. IS IT DIRECTED AT YOU OR SOMEONBE ELSE?
3. FORGIVE WHEN NECESSARY
4. DON’T MISS OPPORTUNITIES

 ANGER ICEBURG

• ANGER MAY BE WHAT EXPLODES
• MANY OTHER THINGS ARE PUSHING IT OUT.
• TEENAGER DEALS WITH A DATE BROKEN OFF MAY GET ANGRY- BUT ROOT OF THAT WAS REJECTION

 MATTHEW 21:14

  “THE BLIND AND THE CAME TO HIM IN THE TEMPLE AND HE CURED THEM. BUT WHAT THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND THE SCRIBES SAW AMAZING THINGS THAT HE DID AND HEARD THE CHILDREN CRYING OUR IN THE TEMPLE SAYING” HOSANNA TO THE SON OF DAVID” THEY GOT ANGRY

MARK 4:5-6

  “ HE LOOKED AROUND AT THEM IN ANGER AND, DEEPLY DISTRESSED AT THEIR STUBBORN HEARTS, SAID TO THE MAN, “STRETCH OUT YOUR HAND. “HE STRETCHED IT OUT, AND HIS HAND WAS COMPLETELY RETORED. THEN THE PHARISEES WENT OUT AND BEGAN TO PLOT WITH THE HERODIANS HOW THEY MIGHT KILL JESUS.”

ANGER IS MORE ACCEPTABLE (NOT REALLY LIKEABLE)

IT COVERS UP OTHER EMOTIONS LIKE FEAR AND HURT AND SADNESS AND DEFINITELY PLANTS A ROOT WHICH GROWS INTO BITTTERNESS

ANGER REPRESENTS ONLY WHAT IS SEEN ON THE SURFACE

A TEENAGER WHO GETS A DATE CANCELLED- MIGHT APPEAR TO BE ANGRY ABOUT THE CALLED PLANS BUT IT MIGHT BE MORE ABOUT THE REJECTION FELT OF THE BROKEN DATE

DETAIL FOOTHOLD

PHYSICAL ISSUES FROM ANGER

ROAD RAGE INCIDENTS INCREASED BY

ANGER INCREASED A PERSON LKKELIHOOD TO DEVELOP TYPE 2 DIABETES INCREASED BY 34 %

EXPRESSIONS OF ANGER – OUTBURSTS AND SUPPRESSIONS RESULTED IN LACK OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY AND INCREASE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO

ANSWERS TO ALL OF THESE

IS JESUS DEFINED/CHARACTERIZED BY HIS ANGER?

ARE YOU?

DO PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU BEST- WOULD THEY DEFINE YOU BY ANGER?

WE LOST A GAME ANGER

MAC HOLMES- ANGER

ANGER

DON’T INDULGE IN ANGER

INDULGE BY DEFINITION

DON’T HAVE TO ALWYS EXPRESS OR SUPPRESS

FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER

DON’T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER