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Rule #3

Sin does not just hurt my relationship with God.

We are defining purity as “seeking God’s best for me – heart, mind and body” 

Colossians 3:5-14

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian slave or free but Christ is all, and is in all. 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Our purity matters to God 

-He is a holy God and as His children, we are also called to be holy 

-Paul lists specific examples of the behaviors and attitudes we must take off in order to clothe ourselves with God’s best for us

-The act of purifying is God’s work 

                -we are not the ones trying to purify ourselves

                -we cannot take off the old and put on the new by ourselves 

-The act of purifying is God’s inner work 

                -Jesus did not come into the world simply because we had bad habits that needed to be broken. He came into the world because we had  dirty hearts that needed to be purified.

                -This is not about behavior modification, it’s transformation from the inside out

Our purity matters to God, and it impacts those around us 

-We often view sin as personal, but miss the impact it has on those around us 

-Lust distorts our view of others and poisons our minds, replacing meaningful relationships with a facade 

-Greed causes us to compare ourselves to others and to view our relationships in terms of what we can get from them 

-Lying causes trust to be broken and destroys the foundation of the relationships that matter most 

 It is impossible to build a life of righteousness on a foundation of sin.

 Ephesians 5:8-11

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 

-Oftentimes our posture towards sin in our lives is to minimize it, to excuse, to hide it, or to justify it. 

-But God doesn’t want us to minimize sin, rather He wants to expose it in our lives so He can bring healing.  

-A posture of hiding brings shame, and shame will destroy our relationships. 

Scripture for further reflection:

Psalm 139:23

“Search me, O God, a know my heart.  Test me, know my anxious thoughts.  See if there be any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting” 

Matthew 5:8

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God

1 Corinthians 13

http://bible.com/events/39735145

Relationship Rules

Week 2- The Art of Caring

Rule #2: A relationship can be no better than the empathy that two people share 

Part 2 of this series is all about empathy

• We are talking about ALL relationships
• Sympathy is feeling at someone while empathy is feeling with someone

John 11:32-44

³² When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.³⁵ Jesus wept.

³⁶ Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” ³⁷ But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

³⁸ Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ³⁹ “Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” ⁴⁰ Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” ⁴¹ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ⁴² I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” ⁴³ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

Three truths for today

1. Empathy is not reserved for the circumstances that we agree with.
2. We don’t empathize to change people.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”  – Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude

3. Empathy without compassion is meaningless.