Church of the Nazarene – East Rock
The Relationship Keys: Forgiveness
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ― C.S. Lewis
Series Purpose:
To gain a greater understanding and tools to strengthen and grow God-honoring relationships of all kinds – friendships, workplace relationships, marriages, etc.
FORGIVENESS- to let go
– act of pardoning an offender
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
“To place limits means that forgiveness has become a bargaining chip in the relationship rather than an act of grace.”
“Seventy-Seven times” is just a way to say, “unlimited.”
Jesus answered unexpectedly, saying we are to forgive the repentant an unlimited number of times.
Jesus’s reply does away with calculations.
God expects those whom He forgives to forgive everyone who sins against them up to the amount they themselves have been forgiven.“
Mercy” is not giving to a person what he/she deserves”
Grace” is giving to a person what he/she does not deserve.
It’s really simple math: Forgive and be forgiven.
Matthew 6:12, 14-15
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Jesus does not mean that forgiving others is a condition for salvation, but that forgiveness is the expected condition of those who have been saved.
Unforgiveness is inherently contradictory to godliness.
BOTTOM LINE
Forgiveness is an action you must choose, rather than a feeling you must create
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Scriptures for Further Study/Reflection:
2 Corinthians 2:5-11
5 If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 9 Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10 Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Ephesians 4:32
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Mark 11:25
25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.1 Corinthians 13:5
(Love…)5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Psalm 103:8-10
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
Ephesians 1:7-8
7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,
Hebrews 12:14-15
14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Matthew 5:7
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
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