Matthew 22:34-38
34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
In the Old Testament the love relationship between God and Israel is defined by the Hebrew word hesed, which is translated “steadfast love” or “faithful love.”
It is love in the context of a covenant that you have made with another person, and its basic meaning is being true to that covenant. One description of hesed could be “loyal love.”
Today we continue with part two that is all about answering the question
- Is Family First?
- Are your loves in their proper order?
- According to the Ten Commandments, which almost everyone has at least heard of, we are called to honor our parents.
- BUT we are to worship only the Lord God.
- Pastor Kyle describes what I just referenced about the 10 commandments as a “top button” truth…let me explain
- In a hurry – wrong slot – don’t recognize until at the bottom and then realize everything out of line.
- He says, “If you get the top button right, then everything else tends to fall into place. If you get it wrong, then everything else is going to be out of alignment…God has ordered our lives in such a way that devotion to him is the top button. If that relationship is in proper order, then you’re going to find that every other relationship, whether family or friend, is going to fall into place in a far more satisfying way. But if you’re wrong on him, you’ll get everything else wrong too.”
- What if we were ask to prove that our love and commitment to God is greater than anything or anyone else?
- Genesis 22:1-12 – Abraham Tested
- Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. 2 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love —Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”
- 3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance.
- 5 He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.” 6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” 8 Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
- Luke 9:57-62 – Christ above ALL
- 57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 59 He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” 60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” 62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
- Luke 14:25-27 – Total Commitment to Christ
- 25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate (Gr. miseō – detest, reject. See Mt 5:43 and Mt 6:24, etc.) father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
- Our Lord was not suggesting that believers ignore or abandon their families in order to serve God, but only that they put God’s will above everything else in life.
- Our love for God should be so great that our love for family would seem like hatred in comparison.
- Certainly it is God’s will that we care for our families and provide for them, but we must not permit even our dearest loved ones to influence us away from the will of God.
- When you consider the importance of the family in the Jewish society, you can imagine how radical Christ’s words must have sounded to those who heard them.
- MORE RADICAL THEN OUR WESTERN AMERICAN INDIVIDUALISTIC CULTURAL VIEW..
- Jesus’ point is challenging, but crucial.
- Danger of idolatry
- The greatest danger of idolatry comes not from what is bad, but from what is good – such as love in family relationships. The greatest threat to the best often comes from second best things.
- Kyle Idleman describes a few consequences of placing another human being on the throne of your heart – putting family before God
- Unrealistic pressure
- Unreachable expectations
- Unreasonable disappointment
- Undeserved criticism
- One author of an online article titled – “Families & Kids Are Too Busy” said
- A day doesn’t go by when I don’t talk to a mom or dad who isn’t a slave to there kids schedules.
- Does that sound close to home?
- Jesus is giving a crowd a definition of what discipleship looks like.
- “Cannot” has the meaning of non-reality.
- Being a disciple of Jesus includes making Him the highest possible priority: even above loved ones and life.
- The Bible is meant to be interpreted “literally,” in the sense that it means what it says—yet “what it says” is not always intended to come from a mechanical, shallow reading of the words.
- Hyperbole is used here by Jesus to emphasize the weight of his point
- We know that Jesus is speaking hyperbolically because verses must always be read in context: in the passage, the book, the other books of the same author, and within the whole Bible.
- Both Testaments tell us to honor our parents, and honor is fueled by agape love (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1–3).
- Husbands are to love their wives (Ephesians 5:28). It is literally to be an earthly picture of Christ and the Church.
- And one of the sub-contexts that runs throughout the whole Bible is that good parents naturally love their children (cf. Luke 11:11–13; Ephesians 6:4).
- Loving our families is biblical.
- Matthew covers a similar teaching where Jesus used slightly different wording:
- “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).
- Luke gives context: we must choose to follow Jesus even if our family members don’t, even if doing so splits up family relationships (Luke 12:51–53).
- If oversimplified, they suggest those unwilling to immediately give up their family relationships cannot be saved.
- For many, that’s not something they can fathom.
- As Kyle Idleman writes in “God At War”
- “But I can/t love my children any less,” you might say. No, you can’t, nor is that the message of this book (chapter ‘the god of family’—Jesus words in the gospels), but you can love them differently. You can love them in the context of your primary devotion to God. And that, you will find, turns out to be a far greater, healthier, and more fruitful love.”
- Barna study example of disordered loves/relationships
- American adults, according to a recent Barna study (last 10 years), are “most likely to point to their family as making up a significant part their personal identity.” Country and God come next. Christians are no exception; natural family has usurped God and his family as the primary identity marker for most church-goers.
- In another Barna study about 10 years further back (20 years ago), they asked more than one thousand people to choose their most important relationship. Seven out of ten adults chose their earthly family over God
- Why share these stats that are 10-20 years ago?
- Times change, but human nature doesn’t.
- DALLAS WILLARD
- You can live opposite of what you profess, but you cannot live opposite of what you believe.
- So I ask you, in your relationships with your family members as they relate to God, does your reality align with what you profess to be true?
- When you are more committed to human relationships over your relationship and devotion/worship of Christ
- You will often compromise TRUTH
- To keep the peace in the relationship
- To avoid conflict
- In the name of love and kindness
- By reframing what you have always believed so that your support and love for that person no longer conflicts with what you know to be true from a biblical worldview
In this message we aren’t saying that family is not important, just that it is not MOST important.
- What has captured the wonder of our hearts will control the way we live
- Anything that has captured our hearts before the Lord Jesus Christ is and idol.
- Coming to Jesus, savior of the world and King over all, is not just about believing some facts are true, it is primarily to come and yield your life to Him.
- That includes ALL of our relationships.
- BOTTOM LINE
- If you want to better love your family more, then you MUST LOVE GOD MORE than YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY.
- If your spouse OR family OR your children OR name the person(s) that means the most to you, has claimed more of your affection and focus than Jesus Christ, ask God to change your heart.
- Freshly surrender this area of your life to Him, and remember where the deepest source of fulfillment is truly found – in Him!
- If this is true in your life then REPENTANCE is the response – Idolatry is sin.
- Imagine your life as a fully devoted worshiper of God and follower of Jesus Christ. Envision yourself laying your family at the altar, along with every other part of you.
- Tell God, “I can’t do this right. I worship you and you alone, and I trust you to make me the parent/spouse/child I need to be. I love these people deeply, but they will no longer be the meaning of my life. Only you will be. Help me be the person I need to be, so that you can bless these relationships. May these beautiful gifts from you make my heart more completely yours, Amen.’”