02/08/26 – East Rock campus: Relationships Righted Part 2: Family First ? – Pastor Billy Logan

Church of the Nazarene
Church of the Nazarene
02/08/26 – East Rock campus: Relationships Righted Part 2: Family First ? – Pastor Billy Logan
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Matthew 22:34-38

34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together.35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a]38This is the first and greatest commandment.

In the Old Testament the love relationship between God and Israel is defined by the Hebrew wordhesed, which is translated “steadfast love” or “faithful love.”

It is love in the context of a covenant that you have made with another person, and its basic meaning is being true to that covenant. One description ofhesedcould be “loyal love.”

Today we continue with part two that is all about answering the question

  • Is Family First?
  • Are your loves in their proper order?
  • According to the Ten Commandments, whichalmost everyonehas at least heard of, we are called tohonorour parents.
  • BUT we are toworshiponly the Lord God.
  • Pastor Kyle describes what I just referenced about the 10 commandments as a “top button” truth…let me explain
  • In a hurry – wrong slot -don’trecognizeuntil atthe bottom and then realize everything out of line.
  • He says, “If you get the top button right, then everything else tends to fall into place. If you get it wrong, then everything else is going to be out of alignment…God has ordered our lives in such a way that devotion to him is the top button. If that relationship is in proper order, thenyou’regoing to find that every other relationship, whether family or friend, is going to fall into place in a far more satisfying way. But ifyou’rewrong on him,you’llget everything else wrong too.”
  • What if we wereaskto prove that our love and commitment to God is greater than anything or anyone else?
  • Genesis 22:1-12 – Abraham Tested
  • Some timelater God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied.2Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom youlove—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”
  • 3Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.4On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance.
  • 5He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey whileI and the boygo over there. We willworshipandthen we will come back to you.”6Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together,7Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”8Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
  • Luke 9:57-62 – Christ above ALL
  • 57As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 59He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” 60Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” 62Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
  • Luke 14:25-27 – Total Commitment to Christ
  • 25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate (Gr.miseō– detest, reject. See Mt 5:43 and Mt 6:24, etc.) father and mother, wife and children,brothersand sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
  • Our Lord was not suggesting that believers ignore or abandon their familiesin order toserve God, but only that they put God’s will above everything else in life.
  • Our love for God should be so great that our love for family would seem like hatred in comparison.
  • Certainlyit is God’s will that we care for our families and provide for them, but we must notpermiteven our dearest loved ones to influence us away from the will of God.
  • When you consider the importance of the family in the Jewish society, you can imagine howradicalChrist’s words must have sounded to those who heard them.
  • MORE RADICALTHENOUR WESTERN AMERICAN INDIVIDUALISTIC CULTURALVIEW..
  • Jesus’ point is challenging, but crucial.
  • Danger of idolatry
  • The greatest danger of idolatry comes not from what is bad, but from what is good – such as love in family relationships. The greatest threat to the best often comes from second best things.
  • Kyle Idleman describes a few consequences of placing another human being on the throne of your heart – putting family before God
  • Unrealistic pressure
  • Unreachable expectations
  • Unreasonable disappointment
  • Undeserved criticism
  • One author of an online article titled – “Families & Kids Are Too Busy” said
  • A daydoesn’tgo by when Idon’ttalk to a mom or dad whoisn’ta slave totherekidsschedules.
  • Does that sound close to home?
  • Jesus is giving a crowd a definition of what discipleship looks like.
  • “Cannot”has the meaning ofnon-reality.
  • Being a disciple of Jesus includes making Him the highest possible priority: even above loved ones and life.
  • The Bible is meant to be interpreted “literally,” in the sense that it means what it says—yet “what it says” is not always intended to come froma mechanical, shallow reading of the words.
  • Hyperbole is used here by Jesus to emphasize the weight of his point
  • We know that Jesus is speaking hyperbolically because verses must always be read in context: in the passage, the book, the other books of the same author, and within the whole Bible.
  • Husbands are to love their wives (Ephesians 5:28). It isliterally tobe an earthly picture of Christ and the Church.
  • And one of the sub-contexts that runs throughout the whole Bible is that good parents naturally love their children (cf.Luke 11:11–13;Ephesians 6:4).
  • Loving our families is biblical.
  • Matthew covers a similar teaching where Jesus used slightly different wording:
  • “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).
  • Luke gives context: we must choose to follow Jesus even if our family membersdon’t, even if doing so splits up family relationships (Luke 12:51–53).
  • If oversimplified, they suggest those unwilling to immediately give up their family relationships cannot be saved.
  • For many,that’snot something they can fathom.
  • AsKyle Idlemanwrites in “GodAtWar”
  • “But Ican/tlove my children any less,” you might say. No, youcan’t, nor is that the message of this book (chapter ‘the god of family’—Jesus words in the gospels), but you can love them differently. You can love them in the context of your primary devotion to God. And that, you will find, turns out to be a far greater, healthier, and more fruitful love.”
  • Barna study example of disordered loves/relationships
  • American adults, according toa recent Barna study(last 10 years), are “most likely to point to their family as making up a significant part their personal identity.” Country and God come next. Christians are no exception; natural family has usurped God and his family as the primary identity marker for mostchurch-goers.
  • In another Barna study about 10 years further back (20 years ago), they asked more than one thousand people to choose their most important relationship. Seven out of ten adults chose their earthly family over God
  • Why share these stats thatare10-20 years ago?
  • Times change, but human naturedoesn’t.
  • DALLAS WILLARD
  • You can live opposite of what you profess, but you cannot live opposite of what you believe.
  • SoI ask you, in your relationships with your family members as they relate to God, does your reality align with what you profess to be true?
  • When you are more committed to human relationships over your relationship and devotion/worship of Christ
  • You will often compromise TRUTH
  • To keep the peace in the relationship
  • To avoid conflict
  • In the name of love and kindness
  • By reframing what you have always believed so that your support and love for that person no longer conflicts with what you know to be true from a biblical worldview

In this message we aren’t saying that family is not important, just that it is not MOST important. 

  • What has captured the wonder of our hearts will control the way we live
  • Anything that has captured our hearts before the Lord Jesus Christ is and idol.
  • Coming to Jesus, savior of the world and Kingover all, is not just about believing some facts are true, it is primarily to come and yield your life to Him.
  • That includesALL ofour relationships.
  • BOTTOM LINE
  • If you want to better love your family more, then you MUST LOVE GOD MORE than YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY.
  • If your spouse OR family OR your children OR name the person(s) that means the most to you, has claimed more of your affection and focus than Jesus Christ, ask God to change your heart.
  • Freshly surrender this area of your life toHim, andremember where the deepest source of fulfillment is truly found – in Him!
  • If this is true in yourlifethen REPENTANCE is the response – Idolatry is sin.
  • Imagine your life as a fully devoted worshiper of God and follower of Jesus Christ. Envision yourself laying your family at the altar, along with every other part of you.
  • Tell God, “I can’t do this right. I worship you and you alone, and I trust you to make me the parent/spouse/child I need to be. I love these people deeply, but they will no longer be the meaning of my life. Only you will be. Help me be the person I need to be, so that you can bless these relationships. May these beautiful gifts from you make my heart more completely yours, Amen.’”