https://www.bible.com/events/49391752

Church of the Nazarene – East Rockingham Campus

Relationship Goals Part 3

We will be covenant keeping

Over the next few weeks, we will work through several relationship goals that we can see in the scriptures.

By naming this series Relationship Goals, we are acknowledging from the very beginning that our relationships have room to grow. They may need work, maybe even a lot of it. We also recognize that WE need work. that ME in relationship, needs work.

The purpose of this series is not to make you feel guilty about yourself or the quality of your relationships. Our desire is to offer hope, to set some goals and find practical tools that will help us work on our relationships.

As the old saying goes “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” So why not set some goals to get us where the bible is calling in our relationships?

Today we continue with relationship goal #3 “We will be covenant keeping”

Genesis 2:20-24

So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

God has spoken everything into existence, including Adam. Adam has his identity, worth, and purpose in life settled in the Lord.

All of Adams core longings are fulfilled in the Lord, yet God recognizes that it’s not good for man to be alone.

As the text notes, there was not a suitable helper or mate for Adam in creation before Eve.

Adam bursts into his own poetic response at the sight of Eve, but it’s not just about a physical attraction. With poetic language, it’s communicating the idea that they are a part of each other.

Adam recognizes this woman and this relationship as something deeply special and significant.

Verse 24 essentially notes: “This is why we do what we do and believe what we believe about marriage- It was God’s design, it was his idea.”

With this scene Gods design is upheld for future generations.

When it says Man is united to his wife- this literally means they stick together. It speaks of passion and permanence, it also speaks of covenant. An all in, put self aside commitment to the other person.

This was God’s design, before any sin or brokenness entered our world. It’s a relationship of harmony and unity. It’s a relationship built on covenant.

Contract verses covenant

A contract is essentially a transactional relationship

We contact the roofer, he offers to complete the leak repair for the cost of $2000. He repairs the roof and we pay. Contract.

Within Contracts there is an element of mutual distrust. We don’t trust each other to fulfill what we say, so we draft a document to lay out the terms.

Contracts usually limited in their scope and they normally contain expiration dates. They also contain clauses that if one party no longer fulfills the obligations of the agreement, the other party is free to exit the agreement.

That’s contract. Great for business, but terrible for close relationships and detrimental to a marriage.

Covenant on the other hand, is a relational agreement based on mutual trust and sacrificial love for the other person. It’s a commitment of our whole self, to the other person.

No conditions, no exceptions, permanent commitment.

Matthew 19:3-6

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Jesus is asked about divorce and he answers them with God’s design for marriage. It’s interesting, Jesus doesn’t take up the argument as to what justified divorce.

He simply points back to Genesis and God’s design to set the record straight. He essentially resets their view from contract terms to covenant keeping.

Jesus reset the popular ideal for marriage in his day, and i believe he longs to do the same for us too.

How are you approaching your marriage?

Will you make God’s design, your goal? Will you be a covenant keeper?

If you joined us last week you are aware that we began a new series entitled, “RELATIONSHIP GOALS”  For some of us that was a new concept.  Today we will take a look at “FAMILY GOALS”

The word “family” alone could evoke a wide variety of responses in all of us.

From Thankfulness to Anx.   Delight to grief.   

The mere mention may bring tears of joy. Or tears of hurt.

I have a disclaimer – Pastor Kevin did not invite me to bring this message because the Kohl family has it all figured out, I don’t have it mastered as a mom, wife, sister or daughter.  Often when I get the opportunity to share, the message is to deepen me.

And I am pretty sure, the reason I was given this topic is because we are uniquely in the throws of parenting.  PICTURE of my family.

Here is a PICTURE of my family. My college sweetheart and husband of 27 years, Our oldest daughter Gwenna – she is a freshman at Liberty. Eli is a sophomore at East Rock. And Ivy is 4 and in Preschool. 

I would not want you to get distracted trying to figure out just how old I was when our youngest was born – I was 44. And for those of you who love statistics, there is only a 2-3% chance of two 44 years olds to have a child naturally – even less when being prevented. NOW THAT THAT’S CLEARED UP.  I will say I call that our “ONLY GOD” story.

 And though we would have never imagined that surprise in our family – we have seen the goodness of God. I remind you that the same powerful God is at work in your life and in your families – not to bring you all babies in your old age but to meet the needs you may not even know you have.

Last week Pastor Kevin shared that just as the world was created, we see how the Lord Places us, Provides for us, gives us purpose, gives parameters, and is the place we find our IDENTITY. 

                Our goal should be abandoning any image of myself that God doesn’t say about me.

This is KEY to any healthy, vibrant relationship!

INSERT STORY??

What is a family?

Family – a group of people who are related to each other, including parents, children, and close relatives. – Oxford dictionary

Another source defines it as

family, a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, constituting a single household and interacting with each other in their respective social positions, usually those of spouses, parents, children, and siblings.

Marriage and family are Gods institutions.  God created the family when he made the first man and woman – telling them to be fruitful and multiply in Genesis 1:28

God wastes no time developing marriage and family. Marriage is a foundational unit of society.

Shortly after , we see sin enter the scene. Self-sufficiency enters and so does family disfunction.

The effects of sin, destroy families and society – wreak havoc, create unimaginable suffering, leading many to a Christless society and life.

In Genesis 4, we meet Cain and Abel, Adam and Eve’s first and second born son.

In Genesis 4:3-5, God favors Abels offering over Cains

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?  If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Genesis 4:6-7

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”[a] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Genesis 4:8

Then Cain ran away to avoid punishment – creating yet more challenge and hurt.

This is not to discourage, but to remind us that as soon as sin entered so did the battle against and with family.

Though today’s challenges likely look different than God giving favor to one offering over another – Jealousy is a hurt that still reigns as destructive. The family is in battle.

Life, Hope, Truth.com research reveals that the some of the greatest or top THREATS that come against our families today are:

Materialism – keeping our families focused on acquiring more and more – and our children believing that material possessions are where happiness is.

                Secularism – 25% of Americans claim no religious affiliation

                                                Compared to 6% in 1991

                Negative Media Influence – not only bringing constant unwholesome influence, but                                                                                    keeping families from interacting.

But we all know, the ultimate enemy is not a physical enemy but a spiritual one – satan himself.

1 Peter 5:8-9 tells us

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Why is this?

This quote by John Pale sums it up for me:

“God designed the family to fill the earth with His glory” -John Pale

Let’s visit our brother Joseph to see how this played out in his family.  His story takes up 14 chapters in Genesis – so though I would love to read it all to you this morning – I better just give you a quick summary…

Joseph – Genesis 37-50

Summary of the life of joseph

• Favored son:

Jacob openly favored Joseph, giving him a special coat, which further fueled his brother’s resentment. 

• Prophetic dreams:

Joseph had dreams where his family bowed down to him, which he interpreted as a sign of future power, further angering his brothers. 

• Sold into slavery:

Due to jealousy, Joseph’s brothers sold him to traders who took him to Egypt where he was sold to Potiphar, an Egyptian official. 

• False accusation and imprisonment:

When Joseph resisted the advances of Potiphar’s wife, she falsely accused him of rape, leading to his imprisonment. 

• Interpreting dreams:

While in prison, Joseph gained a reputation for accurately interpreting dreams, including those of the Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker. 

• Ruling Egypt:

Pharaoh, troubled by a dream, summoned Joseph to interpret it, which revealed a coming famine. Impressed by Joseph’s wisdom, Pharaoh appointed him as second in command, allowing him to prepare Egypt for the famine by storing grain. 

• Reunion with family:

During the famine, Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt to buy food, and he revealed himself to them, ultimately forgiving them and reuniting with his family. 

• Throughout Genesis 37-50, Joseph’s story showcases his reliance on God: despite being sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused, and imprisoned. 
• His forgiveness of his brothers in Genesis 45: is a powerful example of how he trusted God’s plan even when faced with betrayal. 

The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master.  His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands. Genesis 39:2-3

In the Bible, Joseph turned to God in family trouble by trusting in God’s sovereignty and forgiving his brothers¹. Sold into slavery by his brothers, Joseph eventually rose to become the second most powerful man in Egypt and provided food for Egypt and his own family during a severe famine²

When you are asked to speak on family, you naturally reflect on your own.

My parents divorced when I was 2 – when I was around 3 or 4 my stepmom entered the family. When I was 13, my only child life ended as my beautiful fabulous sister entered the world, though I did not always think that when she was 2 and I was 15!

Early on labeled my family as my “happy dysfunction”. If you know me well, you know, I like things to be pretty and tied up with a bow.

But the truth of the matter the division of my family and all of its circumstances were not always happy.  My pretty bow was often removed or pushed to the side.

Here in the midst of these family circumstances is where I discovered that I needed Jesus.

I was desperate for him – his care, his comfort, his truth, his constant presence, his strength, his love, his grace, HIS ALL.

I am thankful for my story because it brought me to Jesus.

Do you let the story of your family take you to Jesus?

Whether it is the story of your youth, memories, or the moments you are living right now.

Whether you are from a family of Godly heritage – do you let your story lead and keep you in Jesus?

Whether you had a story you would have preferred to be different, do you let your story lead you to Jesus?

Regardless of our past stories and the ones we are currently living – there is a family goal that we can all choose.

Family Goal #1

Regardless of my family story and circumstances, I will let it take me to Jesus.

What does this look like Angela?

Story of laying on the floor praying when I had toddlers?

There is one other goal – I’m going to ask that we commit to together

Family Goal #2 

Regardless of where my family is now, the future will be for God’s glory.

                JOSEPHS STORY TELLS US ABOUT OUR FAMILY DIRECTION CHANGING WITH JESUS

I know that my family’s tomorrow can be different because of Jesus and it starts with me.

This is not about you taking more control of your family, but surrendering it to God. This doesn’t mean by choosing Jesus that everything will be easy, but I promise your trajectory will be better – because you will be different in Him.

Your part is surrender

Your part is trust

Your part is

Your part is to be unrelenting light.

We need to hear this – ALL GOALS REQUIRE GODS HELP!

Psalm 121 tells us – My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth.

The same helper that came along side of me as a child, has and continues to be the one who helps me as the mama of my 3 babies. Helps me as a, sister, daughter.

Mention Davids return?

Use COURAGEOUS VIDEO –   SUMMARIZE!

So, I invite us to commit to these goals together as the FAMILY of God

 (these goals apply to this family as well…          )

Family Goal #1

Regardless of my family story and circumstances, I will let it take me to Jesus.

Family Goal #2 

Regardless of where my family is now, the future will be for God’s glory.

And now,  what are your personal goals for your family?

Pastor Kevin asked me this same question this week as we discussed this weeks message.

Here are the goals that were on my heart

SLIDE

Angela’s Family Goals:

1. I will be as hip and lively when Ivy is 18 as I am now when Gwenna is 18!
   1. Each of us would know and love Jesus deeply and personally.
   1. We will love one another well and reflect Christ, starting at home.
   1. My kids will always want to come home.
   1. Our family will be light and draw others to Jesus.

What about you this morning?  Will you bring your stories to Jesus?

Will you join me in seeking Family Goals for your family?

Grandmas, Grandpas, Mom, Dad, Single parent, step parent, Teen, Sister, Brother, son, daughter – what are your goals this morning.

We have cards all around the room on the alters, on the tables,

Come seek the Lord with me for your family as we “run to the Father”

https://www.bible.com/events/49388327

Church of the Nazarene – East Rockingham Campus

Relationship Goals Part 2

We will be purpose driven

Over the next few weeks, we will work through several relationship goals that we can see in the scriptures.

By naming this series Relationship Goals, we are acknowledging from the very beginning that our relationships have room to grow. They may need work, maybe even a lot of it. We also recognize that WE need work. that ME in relationship, needs work.

The purpose of this series is not to make you feel guilty about yourself or the quality of your relationships. Our desire is to offer hope, to set some goals and find practical tools that will help us work on our relationships.

As the old saying goes “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” So why not set some goals to get us where the bible is calling in our relationships?

Today we continue with relationship goal #2 “We will be purpose driven”

As followers of Christ, we believe that we are called together for a purpose. We are called to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, to do things that we could otherwise not do alone. Our relationships should have purpose.

As we dive into our goal of purpose driven relationship, I think it’s important that we first establish what our individual calling and purpose as followers of Jesus. As we establish that, we can begin to re-imagine our relationships in light of that core calling and purpose.

To help us see these things come together, I want to look at the story of Peter and John. Two very different people who had a shared calling and a shared purpose in Christ.

Luke 5:1-11

One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

This moment marked a new day in the lives of these men.

Peter recognizes his sinful heart and his need for a savior. He is ready to leave his old life of sin, to find forgiveness in Jesus. Affirming that desire in Peter, Jesus replies with a new calling for Peter “follow me.”

The invitation to follow Jesus was that they would literally go be with Jesus. Stay where he stayed, go where he went. To learn from him, and most importantly to become like him.

“From now on, you will fish for people.”

The focus of Peter’s life was changing. His number one goal was to leverage his life for the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

The calling and purpose we see in Peter, is representative of the call for each and every one of us today. As we seek Jesus as our Lord and savior, we too share in this same calling.

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

As this is true of our lives, it’s certainly true of our relationships too.

When we enter into relationship, we don’t leave behind our calling and purpose in Christ, we bring it into our relationships.

That’s the essence of purpose driven relationships.

As you trace the story of Peter and John through the gospels, you can see it was a work in progress. For them personally, and for their relationships. It took years…

But by the grace of God they remained committed to their calling, and to their purpose in the world. As this shaped their lives, it shaped their relationships too. The impact of this commitment over the long haul comes to light in the book of Acts.

In Chapter 4, Peter and John are on trial before the supreme court of the religious elite because they healed a man who had been paralyzed or lame for 40 years.

Of course, this creates quite a stir and they end up being arrested. As we get further into chapter 4 they are standing trial before the religious elite of the day. And after giving their defense of their actions, verse 13 tells us something of a purpose driven relationship.

Acts 4:13

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

This friends, is purpose driven relationship.

The officials look at these two men, they know that they haven’t had any training or schooling, they are just ordinary men.

But yet, as they looked at Peter and John, they looked beyond the men standing before them, beyond their words, beyond their actions and they see something familiar. They see Jesus. And the bible says the religious leaders were astonished.

This ruling council didn’t know Peter and John, but they could tell they had been with Jesus. Friends, that’s purpose driven relationship.

That people would see beyond our relationship, beyond our actions and words, to see Jesus.

There is no limit to what God can do through your life and through your relationships when you commit to your calling, and live into your purpose.

That’s the invitation of this Relationship Goal- We will be purpose driven.

Let’s see what God can do.